what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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