You really coming over, don't trick.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
