Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
