I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
where are you?
Hypothermia
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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