I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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