I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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