Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just google imaged poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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