Don't you send me to vm
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
