Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
