tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
sarcasm needs its own font
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
