Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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