i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
