Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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