tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Even my vagina gasped.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
