Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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