She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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