weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
