So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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