I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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