I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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