NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
