Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
