it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
