I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
