Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
