Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
