My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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