would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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