Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
