Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
