You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
