I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize