He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
