Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
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Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
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I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"