Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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