i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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