I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize