When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
