wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
