That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Small penises have feelings too.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
