Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
