i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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