i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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