I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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