I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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