she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
