A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
