her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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