I'm eating all of the evidence.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
