at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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