yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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