are you so shy because you have an std?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
