The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
