I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
