She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
