Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
