I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
