My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
