is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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