Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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