franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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